![]() One day my mom ID’d one as the boy from across the street, went to his house, told his mother and fortunately, his mother believed mine. Not the only pool on the block, but the only one neighborhood boys started throwing rocks into. We had a big backyard, so my parents built a pool. When I was 3, my family moved into an upper-middle class, all-white neighborhood. But you’ve requested a focus on personal experiences with racism, so here it goes:ġ. 4)Some of what I share covers sexism, too – intersectionality is another term I’m sure you’ve heard and want to put quotes around, but it’s a real thing, too, just like white privilege. 3) I’m going to go in chronological order so you might begin to glimpse the tonnage and why what many white folks might feel is a “Where did all of this come from?” moment in society has been festering individually and collectively for the LIFETIME of pretty much every black or brown person living in America today regardless of wealth or opportunity. Most of what I share below is mild compared to what others in my family and community have endured. I’m cherrypicking because none of us have all day. But as I do, please know a few things first: 1) This is not even close to the whole list. So, again, I’m glad you asked, because I really want to answer. ![]() 2) Fear of being questioned or dismissed with “Are you sure that’s what you heard?” or “Are you sure that’s what they meant?” and being angered and upset all over again by well-meaning-but-hurtful and essentially unsupportive responses. To just “deal with it,” lest more trouble follow (which sadly, it often does). There are two reasons for this : 1) because not only as a human being do I suppress the painful and uncomfortable in an effort to make it go away, I was also taught within my community (I was raised in the ‘70s & ‘80s – it’s shifted somewhat now) and by society at large NOT to make a fuss, speak out, or rock the boat. I truly thank you for wanting to understand what you are having a hard time understanding.Ĭoincidentally, over the last few days I have been thinking about sharing some of the incidents of prejudice/racism I’ve experienced in my lifetime – in fact I just spoke with my sister Lesa about how to best do this yesterday – because I realized many of my friends – especially the white ones – have no idea what I’ve experienced/dealt with unless they were present (and aware) when it happened. ![]() I think the heart of what you’ve asked of your friends of color is extremely important and I think my response needs much more space than as a reply on your feed. First off, I hope you don’t mind that I’ve quoted your post and made it part of mine. I apologize if this comes off as crass or offends anyone.” I’m not trying to be insensitive, I only want to understand (but not from the media). So that I may be enlightened, can you please share with me some examples of institutional racism that have made an indelible mark upon you? If I am to understand this, I need people I know personally to show me how I’m missing what’s going on. I’m not saying I’m colorblind, but whatever racism/sexism/other-ism my life experience has instilled in me stays within me, and is not manifested in the way I treat others (which is not the case with far too many, I know). ![]() Despite my treating everyone with respect and humor my entire life (as far as I know), I’m somehow complicit in the misfortune of others. By not being able to fully put myself in the shoes of someone from a background/race/ religion/gender/nationality/body type that differs from my own makes me part of the problem, according to what I’m now hearing. “To all of my Black or mixed race FB friends, I must profess a blissful ignorance of this “White Privilege” of which I’m apparently guilty of possessing. I feel compelled not only to publish his query but also my response to it, as it may be a helpful discourse for more than just a handful of folks on Facebook. Here’s his post: Yesterday I was tagged in a post by an old high school friend, asking me and a few others a very public, direct question about white privilege and racism. By Lori Lakin Hutcherson, GBN Editor-in-Chief ![]()
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